


One Heart Per Seven Cards

by Chomakaimura



Series: Assorted Cartoon Network City Stories [1]
Category: Dexter's Laboratory, Ed Edd n Eddy, Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends, Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga), 幽☆遊☆白書 | YuYu Hakusho: Ghost Files
Genre: Card Games, Crossover, Developing Friendships, Gen, Giant Jawbreaker, Light Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:21:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26080324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chomakaimura/pseuds/Chomakaimura
Summary: Yugi had only moved into the Cartoon Network's bustling city for a few months, and it seems like he's already hogging so much fame - and fortune. Always-scheming Eddy is not having it! With some sneaky moves, he could pull a fast one on him...Oh yeah, and it just so happens the only card game Eddy is comfortable with is Uno.
Series: Assorted Cartoon Network City Stories [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1893436
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	1. April 21st, 2005

**Author's Note:**

> As much as I love watching those old city-themed bumpers from Cartoon Network's mid-2000s era, I can't help but think about the unfulfilled potential.
> 
> Most glaringly, there exists a bumper showing off a magazine with Yugi Muto on it! Kids WB promos would do strange crossovers involving Yu-Gi-Oh on a regular basis, so what stopped CN? I'm sure it was an issue with Konami or 4Kids, but it didn't stop me from thinking: what if the other cartoons had interacted with Yugi and his other pals?
> 
> I overthought this and found a way to include another Shonen Jump character into the mix as well. If I ever write more of these, there's definitely going to be more anime characters that have a history with the channel. I just think it's a fun concept!

_4:47pm_

Eddy had certainly seen Yami Yugi in publicity before, but never in the flesh. Distinctly, he remembered the time he was walking out in the city, peeved, and seeing that dumb card game player’s face on a magazine. _The Places_ magazine, that is. He always hated seeing that thing, all the affluent, washed-out cartoon stars with their bombastic mansions. “All I have is a lousy suburban house,” he’d complain out loud. Sometimes, it would be something weird like Yogi Bear still living in that Jellystone cave, as if he didn’t have enough rerun royalties to live somewhere with electricity. Not that Eddy cared much for the poor, but what was stopping _him_ from living somewhere that wasn’t the stupid unpopulated cul-de-sac?

After all, Yugi was hardly in the City for a few months by then, and there he was, once again, the same as he saw it before: a spiky-haired _jerk_ with a rich boy’s crib on the lousy newsstand.

“Yu-Gi-Woh?! Go inside Yugi’s home? Oh, for crying out loud, I can’t believe that poser. Ya put in your best work for 6 years and don’t get nearly the same street cred!” Eddy yelled out in the open. How embarrassed he was to turn around, keep walking, and witness various animated eyes staring at him in confusion. Not that Eddy cared much for his reputation - except he very much cared about his reputation, as he tellingly speed-walked out of there in a state of shyness.

 _Darn it,_ he thought, _the City loves his guts. What do people see in him anyway?_

“Geez, Bloo, what the heck happened to ya?” Eddy overheard a question from someone around the corner, speaking in a delinquent intonation. He hid behind the building to eavesdrop a bit more.

“Aw, Yusuke, it was awful! I played a game of chess against Yugi and I lost so baaaaad!” Bloo replied. Eddy couldn’t see Bloo from that angle, so whether or not he was even intact at the hands of that pimp was a mystery to him.

“Wait a sec, what’d you do to get on Yugi’s bad side?” Urameshi asked. “I’ve known the kid since he walked through Shueisha’s front doors, and he only does punishments on those who wrong him.”

A brief pause. A faint rattling of nervousness could be heard from nearby.

“Or, if someone makes a really _stupid_ bet with him!”

“Alright, you got me! He simply invited me and some other guys over for a toast, and wouldn’t you know it, he has an ultra-rare atomic purple Xbox!”

“Ah geez, I’ve seen so many tough guys at the Jump mag walk away humiliated from those _item bets_ . And you chose **chess**?”

“I didn’t think he’d be good at chess!”

“He _isn’t_ , ya dumbbell!” A scowling but not necessarily mad Urameshi had remembered. “But here we are, one kid and a dome-topped cylinder with a flat top!”

Eddy, anxiously curious, could eavesdrop in secret no longer and leaped from the corner. Bloo looked fine, but one thing was clear: he was given a good noogie by a certain man who wasn’t good at chess. Bloo’s normally curved top was made scruffy and layered, flat from top and creating folds on the side.

“I’m sorry fellas, but I couldn’t help but, um, aimlessly pass by and notice that my dear friend Bloo is a bit scratched up!” Eddy said with a somewhat fake sympathy. He was concerned, but his motive for dirt on Yugi overtook that feeling.

“Ah, it’s nothin’, Eddy. Bloo over here really thought he could beat Yugi at an item bet, in a game he can’t play!”

“I’ve played chess before!” Bloo stood his ground. “Granted, it was one time on the computer, on the easiest difficulty, and I still lost; but it’s not like I don’t know the rules!”

That term. _Item bet_. It really spoke to Eddy. He had a gut feeling what it was, but to quell any confusion, he had to ask.

“Item bet? What kind of bet is that?”

“I’ll take this one, Ura.”

“Thought I told you to stop calling me that.”

“You did? Anyway, Yugi will give you any one of his possessions, because as we all know, he’s a generous friend to us all.”

“But!” Yusuke interjected, clearly having more experience in this field. “He’ll only fork it over if you beat him at a mutually agreed game. If you lose, you’ll have to forfeit one of your own items of equal value. And… hey, Bloo! Do you even _have_ anything as valuable as a plain-old-regular Xbox?”

“No. But getting this Shadow Noogie _felt_ like losing one-thousand dollars to someone...”

“Yowza! What’s a Shadow Noogie?!” Eddy wheezed.

“Don’t worry about it, he’s just being a drama queen.”

“Am not!”

“Hey, who has known Yugi for 9 years, now? Right, he just gives you a playful noogie for your troubles. Only thing is that he gets kind of rough while doing it. That Yami side of him really amps up his confidence!”

Bloo interjected once again. “Not even just that! Getting seen by other people while it’s happening is such a hit to your self-esteem! Argh, Chicken is never gonna live that noogie down. I’ll show that stew-waiting-to-happen what for!” He laughed evilly and ran off like the Road Runner would.

“...Yeah, Yami’s noogies are a real source of conflict. And there’s no way out of it unless you can fork over the dough, something you own that’s just as good, or…”

Yusuke had suddenly remembered an incident at the Jump offices he’d rather like to forget. None of the other people he knew would get it, anyway.

“Nah, forget it.”

Eddy wasn’t going to let a potential piece of info slip out of his hands. If he could get as much dirt as he could… he might be able to take Yugi head-on without making any rookie mistakes.

“What? C’mon, spit it out. It can’t be that bad.”

“It really _was_ that bad!” Yusuke groaned. “Yugi shoulda known better than to mess with a hairdo like that!” He had said too much. But it was too late. Yusuke covered his mouth quickly.

Eddy was always the naturally persuasive type. “Well, you can at least tell me the sick ‘do that guy had going on...”

Urameshi relented. “God, it’s been 5 years already. It was a game of _Smash_ for a box of expensive chocolates. Think that guy from Morioh wanted it for his sugar boy… ‘course, he lost, and that’s where it all falls apart.”

Eddy was fearful. Did the man _die_ ? Had Yugi _murdered_ someone? How’d he manage to get out of that situation without a hit to the reputation?

“You can’t just tell me we’re talking about a red-handed killer here!”

“Killer? What, no. He was just really self-conscious about that _pompadour_ of his. It’s a real good pompadour, too. I can’t imagine how much hair gel that takes!”

That pink-skinned twerp felt kinda cheated knowing there was no body count that day. “...So what’s the **issue**?! I thought that game would be a tragedy!” Eddy said. “Can’t just scare me like that.”

“Hey, I never said someone died. But I don’t know why Yugi thought it’d be a good idea to scuff up that hair of his into a stringy mess! A whole fist fight! Broken tables, TVs flying, tables being repaired and getting _me_ stuck into the wall!”

Eddy had no idea what any of that meant, but it didn’t really matter in the long run. Just some battle comic plot points unknown to most outside of Yusuke’s domain. Besides, his info extraction session was now a complete success.

“That’s uh… brutal. I can’t stick around to hear the whole story and, er, keep asking power scale questions and whatever! I gotta go, uh, polish Ed’s shoes!”

“Have a good one, then.” Yusuke said before Eddy ran off in a reserved cackle. Yusuke leaned against the building, sighed, and popped a lollipop into his mouth as if it were a cigarette (he had quit smoking years earlier).

“Y’know,” he whispered to himself, “I feel like trying polish that boy Ed's shoes is just an endless and worthless task. Kinda like that, uh...Sis-fist guy...with the rock? I forget his name.”

Out of habit, he blew into his lollipop. One could say he thought he looked cool doing it.

* * *

_8:23pm_

“Okay, _Eddy_.” Edd had emphasized in annoyance. “Let me get this straight. Your plan involves using Uno and a wig to extort various items from someone’s _house_?”

“It couldn’t be any simpler than that! We’ll be up to our knees in stereos, game consoles, quarters galore!” Eddy excitedly blabbered.

The two long-lasting, if sometimes-strained, friends were at Edd’s house, going over Eddy’s plan to nip at Yugi’s allegedly vast riches. It was to be executed the next morning, before most of the city’s denizens would consider coming to visit, before Yugi’s house became a bustling, happening place for ‘toons to hang out. Being the good-natured boy he was - no, not even that. Double D thought that it was too good to be true.

“Eddy, even if you wore a pompadour to a game of Uno with Yugi, I find it _unlikely_ he’s going to refrain from a noogie, unless you’re that same man he had a fight with. Even if he does, I find your eagerness to exploit someone’s bad memories somewhat disturbing.”

Eddy was starting to get visibly ticked off. The two of them knew it was because the little squirt knew Sockhead was right.

“Why, what would Yusuke think? I wouldn’t say you’re close pals, but he had to have trusted you enough to relay such information to you. If he found out you morphed it into some trick - why, if that pompadoured man found out you were essentially exploiting his hair for _extortion_ , Eddy!”

“Alright, _alright_! I get your point. But get on my level, I can’t just lose a friendly game and then get humiliated ‘cuz of it. The nerve.”

“While the rubbing of one’s fist on another’s scalp seems quite extreme for loss, the way I understand it, he only does this for bets that one can’t repay. Why do you even want to bet him for his possessions in the first place?”

“Grrr, ‘cuz I hate seeing that stupid rich mug and his big whoop of a house, that’s why!” Eddy had finally confessed.

“Oh, I get it." Edd had realized. "You saw him on this month’s issue of _The Places_ , didn’t you?”

In a mocking voice, “Go inside Yugi’s _cool_ home with _all these rooms he doesn’t need_.” Eddy said. “Now I know how Daffy feels whenever he makes any kind of effort at all.”

“Huh? From what I saw, his home was quite modest for someone who has a comic book, a card game, and a cartoon in his repertoire.”

“But we’re _Ed, Edd, n Eddy_! The Cartoon Network practically needs us!”

“Right, but we _film_ the show here. That _Yu-Gi-Oh_ show needs more than a few elaborate set pieces. It also, may I add, _finished airing in its home country_.”

“No kiddin’! That’s one score for the Eds.” Eddy leaped onto a computer chair and pumped his fist into the air.

Edd realized he was going nowhere with his irritable scammer pal. He figured the only way Eddy would learn is if he really _did_ meet Yugi face to face.

“Okay, Eddy, you win. You can go to his house tomorrow and, why, I’ll even accompany you.”

“What for?”

“To make sure you don’t do something irrational, such as theft or foul play. I wouldn’t put it past you to cheat at Uno.”

“Pfff, please.” Eddy slouched in his chair. “Only _losers_ cheat at Uno!”

“ _Or,_ blowing our paycheck to bypass a noogie. Either you bet on something you can _afford_ to pay for out of pocket or to give up. Why, you could simply take this as an opportunity to get to know the guy.” Edd paused. “ _In person_.”

“I… hey, that might not be a bad idea, Double D.” Eddy admitted. He searched across, well, Edd’s room to see if there was a good betting item. Old junk was an Eds specialty, after all.

“Think this old black-n-white game doohickey runs a good $50 on second-hand.” he reckoned.

“I’m not sure how I feel about someone scoring my room for betting objects, but I’ve been looking to do something about that old thing. I suppose he could find someone who does repairs.”

“Woohoo, then it’s settled! See ya on the flipside, Double D.”

Eddy unceremoniously ran out of the room, suddenly quieting the previously loud room. Double D sighed, and hoped that nothing would go wrong with what should be a simple meet-up.

 _Yugi isn’t as affluent as Eddy thinks he is. I just know that he wouldn’t care if he were in that position, to_ **_boot_ **, Edd had been pondering as he tidied up his room and prepared for sleep.

“But wait a minute!”

Edd had been startled by the return of Eddy, who should probably be home by now. “What now?!”

“I’ve been thinking, what if Yugi is the type of guy who gives noogies to guys even if we don’t bet him?”

“And yet, you _are_ betting him. And we _settled_ on an item to give him if we shall lose. I fail to see any more issues.”

Eddy was seemingly paranoid, if truthfully skeevy under the surface. “Better safe than sorry, Sockhead!”

“Okay, fine. What do you have in mind?”

“Sockhead!”

“...Yes?”

“Sockhead.”

“...Oh, I see where you’re going with this.”

Edd was hesitant to go with Eddy’s idea, but it was an upgrade from Eddy mooching off Urameshi’s trust and Yugi’s past. So, why the heck not?

“Alright. But _only for tomorrow_.”

“I knew I could count on ya! Don’t let the bed bugs bite!”

Eddy slammed the door and sped off with glee. Double D walked over to his own computer chair and sat down in deep thought.

_I have a feeling Eddy is going to mess this up. Somehow._

He gave it a second thought

_Wait a minute, don’t we usually bring Ed along for these types of plans? Not that Ed is the sharpest tool in the shed for this job, but some back-up would be nice…_

* * *

_10:43pm_

Clearly, Joey got some ideas from Bloo’s altercation with Yugi. He decided he should play some chess of his own, get ‘dat ol’ brain woikin’. Intentionally, he went with the easiest opponent he could find. A yellow-skinned, unibrowed kid. And yet, the choice did nothing to make the game less intense.

Joey glared at Ed’s unassuming face, then back at the board. Then back at Ed. Then back at the board. There was something that really bothered Joey about the entire situation.

“Gahhhhh! How th’ heck are ya winnin’?!” Joey held his head in frustration and swung it forward. “Youse said ya never played a game a’ chess in your life! It’s impossible!”

Suddenly, Joey heard a crunching noise coming from his opponent. Joey was right. It should’ve been impossible. For better or for worse, nothing is _impossible_ in this weird city populated by wise-cracking rabbits… pint-sized geniuses… and…

“These potato chips aren’t crunchy enough, Mr. Joey. I will go to the store and get some more.”

Yes, even people who do _that_. Ed walked off, and Joey’s appetite to do anything dissipated in a manner of seconds. He planted his face onto the chess board in utter defeat.

“And ta think I got through ‘dat kook Kaiba’s island without a hitch.”

**_this is cartoon network_ **


	2. April 22nd, 2005

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The big day comes where Eddy challenges Yugi to a game of Uno. Surely, this can only end on a sour note for all involved, one certain boy genius and a returning spirit detective included, or so it may seem...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't expect Uno to be so hard to write, so the actual game isn't given much attention here. On the other hand, if you like unlikely conversations between characters, this should fit the bill. Either way, my next story in this series has better planning attached to its plot, so look forward to it!

_7:36am_

“I can’t believe we agreed to get up this early just to go to stupid Yogi’s house” Eddy muttered.

“ _Yugi_ , Eddy, and you _know_ it.” Edd replied. “I digress. I did this precisely so that you could have a private, quiet game of Uno with Mr. Muto. He likes inviting people over throughout the day.”

“Isn’t there a whole book on how stupid it is to have a giant house with constant parties going on, or is it just me?”

“Oh my…” Edd had suddenly realized something that hadn’t come to him before. A shocking, confounding realization.

“I didn’t know you _read books_!”

“Don’t tell me that you don’t remember the time we stayed up to go through _Great Gatsby_ the night before the test. You didn’t read it either!”

“I was on the brink of discovering a new turpentine-resistant adhesive! For once, I didn’t have time for books.”

The two lifelong friends were walking down Williams Street, which could only be described as an array of miscellaneous houses on the outskirts. As usual for the city, it was nothing like the average street as we know it; the houses looked unique from one another, spread apart and of varying sizes, shapes, and colors. One turn of the head could dart your eyes towards a dingy shack where Harvey Birdman lived, and one turn back could dart them towards an entire blobject-laden aquarium dedicated to Jabberjaw and his cohorts. Just about the only consistency was the unkempt greenery that a 1950s family would scoff at, and the blue sky above it.

“Why does Harvey Birdman even live in a rotting 4-room condo, anyway? Lawyers are swimming in dollars!” Eddy wondered.

Just as he said that, wooden planks began to collapse from the front of the eccentric attorney’s abode, revealing the man snoring on the couch with his uniform on.

“He insists it’s part of the ‘grind’.” Edd said under his breath. “Whatever that means...”

* * *

_7:44am_

There it was. Yugi Muto’s house. That place that was apparently so affluent that it warranted a magazine cover. Perched on what was practically an open field, and… surprisingly modest. From the outside, it was clear to the Eds (sans Ed) that it only stood two stories tall, and it wasn’t too much bigger than even Eddy’s house. It had been painted a cool jet black, the sun shining brightly against it and giving it a sleek, almost-gothic look. Maybe something to be jealous of, but Edd couldn’t help but feel Eddy had jumped the gun a _little_.

“Boy, Eddy, that sure is a _large, rich boy’s mansion_.”

“Gimme a break, what magazine reports on something that small?”

“A magazine that finds value in what one does with the space he is given. I’m not the biggest fan of sensationalist magazines either, but I can’t think of anything other than _The Places_ that would report on Fred Flintstone’s living quarters.”

“I dunno, if I had to deal with animals every day just for my house to function, I’d demand some respect, too.”

With that, they walked up the stairs, through the porch, and rang the doorbell. It was one of these doorbells with a speaker in them. As the bell sounded, there was a lapse of silence broken by a static-filled voice.

“Good morning,” a deep, cool voice had greeted them, “who’s at the door?”

Double D decided he should be the one to introduce themselves. “Hello, Mr. Muto,” he greeted cheerfully, “My name is Edd - um, with two D’s - and I’m here with my friend, Eddy! We’re here to-”

“You must be here for the item bet. I’ll be right down. Hey, Ura-!” Yugi’s voice cut out with the release of the microphone button on his end. Both Eds at the door began to get a bit worried at his words.

“Wait a minute,” Edd interjected, “How’d he know we were here for an item bet?!”

“Double D… I have a gut feeling a little birdie told him.”

The door swung open to reveal, not Yugi, but Yusuke Urameshi. The exact person Eddy had been getting secrets from. Maybe Eddy wasn’t as sneaky as he thought he was.

“How’s it goin’, Eddy?” Yusuke smugly greeted.

“What are you doing here so early?!” Eddy asked with a tinge of fear in his voice.

“I _knew_ you’d be here the very next day, wanting a piece of that Yugi merch!” he gleefully admitted, “So I told Yoogs that I was expecting you to come.”

Edd was shocked that Yusuke had been so excited to see Eddy (most likely) lose at Uno. “You camped out here just to see Eddy get a noogie?”

“Hey, some confidence you have, Sockhead!”

“Well, I figured he’d pull the pompadour trick, so maybe a good noogie would teach a thing or two about calling back to disastrous fistfights. Never mind why Jo liked his own that much.”

Eddy chilled out to Yusuke’s level himself, a smug grin on his face. “Ah, but as you can see, I’m not even _wearing_ any hair on my head right now.”

“I see that, alright.”

Indeed, Eddy’s Plan B for noogie avoidance, if push came to shove, was wearing Double D’s famous beanie.

“Of course, I _am_ wearing it with the permission of my good friend, Edd. With two D’s.”

Edd couldn’t help but blush slightly at that sentence. Even if it was merely a “nice guy” act, it was rare to hear Eddy be so flattering in regards to him. But he couldn’t let that get his guard down.

“It’s no issue, _Eddy_.”

“Well now. It seems like your bond is strong,” the same deep voice from the intercom had spoken.

Urameshi scooted off to the side to reveal one Yugi Muto, in his signature jacket, wearing his signature triangular pendant. Looking as charismatic as he usually does. His hair looking as improbable as it always does.

“There is nothing stronger in the universe than friendship between two beings. Strong bonds have gotten me through many arduous challenges.” Yugi had spoken boldly.

“Oh, good morning, Mr. Muto! I see you’re as inspiring and charming as ever, even at an early time like this,” Edd had complimented him. “Eddy, say hello.”

It’s funny how full of himself Eddy was regarding Yugi when they weren’t in sight of each other. Now that they were merely a few feet apart, Eddy couldn’t help but feel dwarved by Yugi’s sheer bombastic presence. It wasn’t an emotion of hatred anymore. Now, Eddy was intimidated by the prospect of meeting someone beloved by everyone in the vicinity, someone who made him the coolest cat on the block with but two sentences. He was starting to feel kinda silly, not to mention outnumbered. Still, he had irrationally hoped that his initial thoughts on Yugi would ring true as the morning progressed. Eddy hates to be wrong, after all.

He decided to be nice in spite of everything. “H-hey there, mister.” Eddy managed to spitter out. “It’s, uh, nice to meet ya.”

“Nice to meet you, too, Eddy.” Yugi confidently said with a subtle yet clear grin. “I hope to have an enjoyable game of Uno today.”

The Eds walked into Yugi’s house, awaiting what would expectedly be a simple if unusual game of cards. Urameshi stayed behind for a bit so that no one could hear him mutter to himself.

“I have a bad feeling about this. Good thing we have some eyes on this game.”

“Hey, I heard that, Yusuke!” Eddy declared in a panic. “Who else is here?”

“Oh, just me, Double D, and...”

* * *

_7:50am_

“Wellll, if it isn’t my old friend Eddy!” greeted some ginger-haired kid Eddy had no association with. “I wish I could’ve been here to see a game of _chess_ , but believe it or not, I have a soft spot for such a simple-minded game as Uno.”

Yugi laughed heartily. “Oh, Dexter, you wouldn’t have wanted to be here for my chess game with Bloo. Neither of us are competent at it.”

More accurately, it was a ginger-haired kid that Eddy didn’t _want_ to have association with _at the moment_. Dexter was actually someone he had known since beginning to work at the Network, but not only was he an observant genius, he could also be a little tease if he wanted to be. Eddy knew that Dexter would find joy in him getting humiliated in some way, shape, or form.

“Hey, Eddy...why are you wearing Double D’s hat? You always thought it looked _stoopid_.”

“Nice to see ya, squirt.” Eddy said with equal parts sincerity and sarcasm. “But that’s a whole lie! And ya know it. I just, hm, wanted to try something new today. Never was one to have a full head of hair.”

“I don’t think there’s anything embarrassing about being hairless-”

Eddy somewhat panicked and held his hat down like Edd would if _his_ hat were in danger. 

“...erm, as I was saying, I respect your decision to wear a hat nonetheless. It’s not something I can manage so easily.” Yugi had assured.

 _Cripes, he is so_ **_nice_ ** _,_ Eddy was thinking, _how am I supposed to prove he’s a poser when he probably isn’t. The game hasn’t even started yet and I’m already losing. I’d look_ **_stupid_ ** _if I blabbed something about how he’s a_ **_jerk_ ** _._

* * *

_8:00am_

The table is set. Rectangular, wooden, with Eddy at one short side and Yugi at the other. A deck of cards loaned by Double D in the middle, three vastly different people looking on from the left to the players. Most notably, there are two trays attached to the rim of the table, to the right of the players. Large trays that are wide enough to hold an entire VCR.

The living room was as modest as the rest of the house. The walls were as jet black as the rest of the house

“Alright, Eddy. Pick an item from my house you’d like to walk home with tonight.”

“Well…” Eddy pulled out the old handheld he’d been keeping in his pocket. “It’s a bit broken, but what would be equivalent to this old thing?”

Yugi’s eyes dilated.

“Oh my goodness.” He grabbed it in excitement as his eyes began to sparkle. “I have been looking for an original Game Boy for ages now. The fact I even have one in my hands is miraculous.”

 _No! Even if I win, I’ll feel bad_.

“I believe Dexter could help me with repairs.”

“If I can find the parts.”

“It’ll make a great addition to my collection! I will be willing to bet my… oh, hold on a second.”

Yugi ran out of the room to look for something. It must be really special, then. Indeed, when Yugi walked back into the room, he was holding a giant spherical object in his hands, a multi-colored and speckled creation coated in sugar.

“Oh dear lord, Eddy!” Edd had squealed in astonishment and joy.

“It’s the, it's the-”

“The largest jawbreaker I have ever seen in my damn life!” Yusuke unexpectedly cursed.

Eddy was currently stammering at the thought of taking home a jawbreaker unlike any other he had ever seen.

“You have a knack for figuring out the interests and motives of others, I see.” Yugi assumed, to Eddy’s chagrin. “Likewise, I have seen your cartoon, and I understand you have an affinity for inhumanly large jawbreakers.”

_He’s a fan of the show… argh… who would disappoint a fan to their face?!_

“Fittingly, I won this betting at the Annual Laff-A-Lympics the other day. It’s still fresh and I’ve made sure Jonouchi never got his tongue on it. It was always meant as a gift for item bets, but most of anyone who goes into them only considers the expensive gadgets and eccentric paintings of my house.”

_He thinks I was so thoughtful about this…_

“Heh… I usually noogie people if they lose item bets with me. But you, you’ve considered the equivalent trade and what games mean to me.”

_What have I done…_

“Let us have a most excellent game of Uno!”

 _Oh dear_.

“Oh dear…” Edd muttered.

“Oh man…” Yusuke muttered.

“Ohhhhhh ****” Dexter muttered.

* * *

_8:12am_

“ _I CAST A REVERSE SPELL ON YOU,_ _EDDY!_ ”

“You mean a reverse card, right?”

“Yes,” Yugi admitted, “but I find it’s more fun this way. Reminds me fondly of my days filming _Yu-Gi-Oh_ and all the dumb promos for Warner Bros. to go with them.”

“Pff, I can’t believe you actually talked to a sock on a set. Green 7.” Eddy put a card down.

“Set? I wish they gave us the budget for a set. 5-minute recording sessions and the final projects just photoshopped old photos of Scooby-Doo and I onto a JPEG. Blue 7.” Yugi responded.

“What’s a JPEG? Blue 3.”

Double D and Dexter tried to answer his question, but Yugi beat them to the punch. “A JPEG is a type of image file. Strictly rectangular in nature and ideal for backgrounds.” He placed down a blue-colored skip-turn card. “And now I place down a blue +2 card.”

Eddy’s jaw dropped a bit. “Geez, not bad for someone who hasn’t played that much,” he said while drawing two cards, one by one.

Yugi has two cards, Eddy has five. This game could already end soon enough, and that would mean Eddy would lose his chance at winning the largest jawbreaker in the history of jawbreakers. Nevertheless, the three bystanders couldn’t help but notice that Eddy and Yugi were acting oddly… amicable. Just 30 minutes ago, they knew that Eddy couldn’t be any more jealous of the card game master. Was something up?

“Guys,” Yusuke whispered, “I think Eddy might try to pull something.”

“You’re telling me. I’m starting to realize why he asked me for one of my hats.” Edd said.

“No kiddin’.”

“I suspected there’d be some sort of foul play from either end.” Dexter responded.

The other two on-lookers looked a bit surprised at him. “You did?”

“Yes… we all know that Eddy is a sneaky little one, but Yugi’s earliest endeavors tell us that he’s capable of bending loopholes and the like to his adventures.”

“Yeah, well if I was a ruthless pharaoh in ancient Egypt, I’d ruthlessly send my enemies to the grave in unusual ways, too.”

“You guys say something?” Yugi asked them.

Double take from Dexter, Edd, and Yusuke. “Whaaaat, nooooo!” Edd asked in panic. “We just, um-”

“We collectively need a trip to thee restroom! If that is possible, of course.” Dexter continued.

“Yeah, pissing contest!”

All patrons present stared at Yusuke.

“Heh heh… just kidding!”

Pause.

“Are you guys feeling okay?” Eddy asked with genuine concern.

With a forced smile, Yusuke replied “Never been better! Honest, we just gotta take turns! Excuse us.”

Those untrustworthy cartoon nuts scattered out of the room, surely attempting to scheme something. For a few seconds after they left, there was nothing happening between Eddy and Yugi. They simply stared at the archway they went through, as if they were awaiting their return.

“I have a feeling those three don’t trust you, Eddy.”

“It happens.”

“...Is something wrong?”

“Nah, not really.”

“Alright then.”

They got back into their game.

“However, don’t hesitate to be honest with me and tell me if anything is bothering you.”

A drop of sweat dropped from Eddy’s forehead. He didn’t respond.

“After all, that’s what friends are for.”

Eddy responded. “No p-prob, man.”

 _For someone who’s_ **_supposed_ ** _to be a rich boy and ruthless Egyptian pharaoh, he’s so… he’s so..._

* * *

_8:25am_

Yugi’s bathroom was about as average as you could get. Sure, the walls were still a cool jet black, but the floors were white-and-beige-tiled. On top of that, it was just big enough to hold three people alongside the shower, the toilet, the sink, and the medicine cabinet. Good thing Dexter was about the size of Yusuke’s lower legs. Speaking of which:

“Be **hold** , my fine friends!”

“I’ve barely talked to you.” Yusuke retorted.

“Settle down, Urameshi, he’s in his natural element right now.” Double D said.

Dexter looked aside for a moment, visibly peeved, before moving on. “Right, anyway. Be **hold!** ”

He pulled out two extraordinary, life-changing inventions: exact replicas of his iconic oval glasses, of course. What a grand revolution in the field of science. This is naturally a lie on the surface, and the part where Yusuke comes up with some rebellious remark about their current situation.

“Now, before Yoosuke can make a rebellious remark about our current situation, let me just say that these glasses aren’t any ordinary glasses,” he explained anticipating a response.

“Yeah, they’re yours.”

“U-Urameshi!”

“Listen, I don’t mean to be a jerk, but unless those are some see-through vision goggles in disguise or he has our exact vision test results, I don’t see how his glasses are gonna help us!”

“Well, what do you know!” Dexter exclaimed. “You are exactly correct.”

“Eh? You have our measurements? Is my right eye still on the fritz?”

Edd chuckled. “No, he means he has see-through goggles for each of us. I’d assume these don’t perceive any fabrics at all, Dexter?”

“Not quite! You see, each glass has a crosshair on their mee-ddle. You just click the buttons on the tops of the frames, and voila! It’s as if they’re not wearing a hat!”

Yusuke and Double D took their own pairs of glasses, both in a rare shared sense of anticipation. The former knew exactly what he was going to test out his goggles on.

“So, since we’re trying this out on _Eddy’s_ headsock, why don’t I...just...ha ha.”

“Oh no, Urameshi!” Edd grabbed the sink quickly, as if it’d help his anxiety. “I keep this hat on for a reason that does not apply to _Eddy_!”

“So Eddy wants to hide some cards, or a gun, or _something_ that gives him the upper hand, big whoop. What you’re hiding is much more interesting...”

Dexter began to get worried at the ensuing conflict. “Boys, boys, let’s not forget about the task at hand. Let’s all just calm down...”

Yusuke darted his head side to side like a maniac. “I’m a spirit detective, ay?! I gotta see what type of monster is lurking in that saggy eyesore!”

Double D was practically stammering incomprehensibly at this point. With some hard work, he could get “Th-there’s no dark secret in here, I’m just incredibly insecure about my scalp!”

“C’mon boy! I gotta… I gotta…” Yusuke, all of a sudden, was recalling the same incident that even led to Eddy getting the idea of wearing Edd’s beanie in the first place. The same incident where someone really didn’t want the top of their head to be messed with. All he could ask himself was, _how is this any different_? He got to his knees in shame.

“What am I doing with myself?”

“Oh dear, have I accidentally uncovered some internal trauma in you? I-I’m sorry, it’s just-”

“Nah, it’s all my fault. After seeing Yugi noogie that boy’s pompadour, that shoulda been a lesson in not roughing up people’s heads unless they’re asking for it.”

“My, Urameshi… you’re absolutely right. And… no matter how much we _believe_ Eddy might be acting dishonestly, it’d be the same case. Why, it’d be a baseless assumption. Maybe Eddy is just insecure about a noogie th-the same way that man you’re talking about is.”

They both turned to an impatient Dexter, tapping his foot and scowling.

“Dexter,” Edd started, “we cannot, in good conscious, go forward with this plan. It wouldn’t be right.”

“Yeah, what he said.”

As we all know, Dexter is not as mature as his intelligence would lead people to believe. “Fools! We all know deep inside that Eddy is pulling a fast one on the pharaoh. This cannot stand!”

The pint-sized genius ran out the bathroom, donning see-through goggles, and shut the door. Just about 30 seconds passed with no noise being heard from within the walls. The pint-sized genius nearly slammed the door before stopping the impact against the wall.

“Okayyyyy, I have news.”

Yusuke was puzzled. “Good or bad?”

“Well, um… Eddy isn’t wearing his hat anymore.”

Edd became extremely worried. “Lord! Is Eddy being hurt or humiliated right now?”

“Q-quite the contrary, actually. In fact, they couldn’t be aaanymore friendly at the moment”

A shock to both Edd and Yusuke, who double-taked at each other before chuckling at how silly they must have acted just a few minutes prior.

“Alright then, so what’s the _bad_ news?”

“Hmph, how do I explain this? You see, I misaimed before noticing Eddy had taken off his hat as a gesture to Yugi-”

“A gesture?” Edd inquired.

“Yes, a gestural- a gesture, and now I never want to see Eddy’s underwear again. Have fun!”

Dexter closed the door on two disgusted boys and audibly ran out of the house in a fit of embarrassment.

Yusuke slowly turned his teeth-gritted face at Double D. “So if you don’t mind, I think I’m gonna take a piss.”

“Don’t take too long, I feel like using the toilet myself.”

* * *

_8:30am_

Yusuke and Edd walked back into the living room, to see Eddy and Yugi shaking hands as bombastically as an anime freeze-frame could allow for. A far cry from the day before, let alone an hour ago.

“Oh, hello, Yusuke, Double D. I assume you were attempting to conspire about Eddy’s potential schemes while in the bathroom.” Yugi guessed with stunning accuracy, causing the two bystanders to blush sheepishly.

“You got that right,” Yusuke admitted, “But we had to use the bathroom anyway, what do they call that? Multi-task?”

“So, what was in the hat, Eddy?” Edd had finally asked.

“Okay, I give up!” Eddy exclaimed casually. He proceeded to pull out a whole deck of Uno cards from the hat like a rabbit.

“That was your game?! Using whatever cards you wanted at any time?!” Yusuke exclaimed in disgust.

“It woulda been, if I saw I couldn’t _trust_ him.” Eddy confessed. “But I gotta admit, from the moment he walked into my sight, I knew I’ve been wrong about the dude at least a little.”

“It takes a lot of bravery to be honest. The fact that you turned around the situation by gifting this deck to me is even more amicable. Most people I’ve run into with the intent to cheat never come clean, let alone go that far.” Yugi relayed in, it should be emphasized, the coolest manner possible.

This was the biggest surprise of the month for Eddy’s and Yugi’s respective long-time friends. The sheer charisma of Yugi Muto was enough that it brought out the best in an otherwise scheme-heavy, loud-mouthed child. Granted, one could say the _worst_ in Eddy was only really brought out on the set, as mandated by the script. Still, it had to have been said that he was still something of a quarter-pincher when not doing his show.

“Words could not describe how glad I am to see everything worked out alright.” Edd cheerfully said in relief.

“I’m glad, too, but...” Yusuke had to know, “Who won the game?”

“On one hand, I did.” Yugi admitted as Eddy nodded.

“Here’s your Boy, Yoogs.” Eddy said as he handed off the ancient game console over.

“Thank _you_. Anyway, I normally keep the item I bet should I win. However, considering that Eddy chose honesty over the guaranteed winning of something he yearned for… and really, because I need to get rid of this thing.”

Yugi lifted up the giant jawbreaker with both of his hands, grunting as the force exerted onto his forearms. “Take it before Joey comes back and tries to fit it into his cheeks.”

Eddy’s face lit up in front of everyone’s eyes. “Boy, whatta pal! I won’t forget this any time soon.”

“Don’t mention it!” Yugi’s face suddenly smirked as a dark aura appeared amongst him. “Or I’ll send you to the Shadow Realm.”

A sudden pang of silence. Everyone else in the room got poker-faced as Yugi’s face calmed down into a neutral position. Eddy snickered at the situation. Within seconds, it grew into a full-blown contagious laugh. Yugi started laughing deeply as his arms crossed. Yusuke started his own laugh with a dumb grin on his face, while Edd sensibly yet endlessly chuckled. Overall, everyone was having a good time.

The door slammed. It was Jonouchi, with a weird monobrowed kid in tow. Literally, biting onto the tail of Joey’s jacket as if it were a tow truck company in motion. Joey had to drag him into the living room to get anywhere.

“I’m sorry ta bother ya, Yoogs, but I gots a problem wit’ dis kid that eats chess pieces and wants more of ‘em!”

“DId you ask non-pharaoh Yugi?”

“My friends did the best they could, but this kid’s a bear trap.”

“That’s Ed for you.” Ed and Eddy simultaneously groaned. “Hey, so there’s two actors for one Yugi?”

“Yes, that’s how we do all those shots where both forms talk to each other. There’s another actor for the true pharaoh, but I’ll let that air on the Network before I spoil the surprise. Anyway, I’ll bet if I send him to a punishment game for only a moment, and then send him back-”

“GIANT JAWBREAKER!”

Ed’s maw released from Joey’s expensive jacket and engulfed the entire jawbreaker, inflating Ed’s right cheek to an impossible size.

“Well, that solves one problem.” Edd meekly said.

Everyone looked in shock at the strange kid in the room, roaming the lives of others without a care in the world.

“You know, the Laff-A-Lympics last another week. If we can get the others to make bets, we could score at least another jawbreaker.” Yugi explained.

“Oy, it’s still early. Let’s juice,” said Eddy.

“Juice?” a confused Yusuke and Edd wondered.

“What da heck does dat mean?” Joey loudly asked.

“Let’s just go.”

They all ran out, Edd having to drag Ed by the arm with as much strength as he could.

“So what event is on today?” Eddy inquired in the distance.

Yugi, who was running at a good pace with the others, started to reply with “500 meter dash. I know Kwicky Koala has a reputation for his speed, but the Road Runner and Flash-” and then he tripped.

**_this is cartoon network_ **


End file.
